Enough for What?

Fabiola: There's a question I think a lot of us carry without realizing how much authority we have given it. Am I enough? Am I smart enough? Prepared enough? Successful enough. Confident enough. Have I done enough? most of the time we never finish the question. Enough for what? Enough according to whom? Enough compared to what? We just feel it. And once that feeling shows up, we start making decision around it. We wait, we hesitate, we make ourselves smaller. We look at what everybody else seems to be doing and decide somehow we are behind. And sometimes we don't even call it not feeling enough. Sometimes it's much more subtle than that. I'm Fabiola, and this is waiting, isn't working. And we made it to the final episode of this season. By the time you hear this, I'll probably be on the road coming back from dropping my daughter off to college. and as the season comes to an end, I've noticed something. I think about you long after I finish recording. I wonder what this conversation have looked like on your side. Because I know I have changed. This conversation has changed the way I think about waiting, the way I make decisions, even the way I listen to people. But then I think about you. Are you still waiting? Still afraid? Or is what you're carrying something I haven't asked you about? That became very real for me this week. someone I love shared something deeply personal. I'm going to keep the details private that belongs to them. But the conversation stayed with me because it reminded me that people can be carrying things or cannot see. And sometimes what looks like waiting, fear, or procrastination maybe connected to something much deeper. But I don't know what's waiting sounds like in your life. Maybe it isn't procrastination. Maybe it is pretending you're fine. Maybe is carrying something nobody around you knows you are carrying. And that has made me think about what I didn't say this season. could I have asked a better question? Could I have explained something differently? Was there something I missed? Not because I care about sounding good. Because you matter I don't know where you listen or what kind of week you're having, but I know there's a person on the other side of this microphone. And I understand that differently now. At the same time, something else has become clear. There are decisions I cannot make for you. I can ask the question. I can help you recognize something. I can challenge something you've been telling yourself, but I cannot make the call. That part belongs to you. So before I leave you for a little while, there's one question I want us to examine Am I enough? And I don't want to answer that for you. I want you to finish it. Enough for what? Because I'm not enough is a very big conclusion. And most of us arrived at it without examining what happened first. We struggle. And instead of saying, This is hard, we say something must be wrong with me. We fall behind. And instead of saying, I'm not where I want to be. We say I'm failing. That is where I want you to pay attention. Because the language can be subtle. It might sound like I keep messing things up. I don't want anybody to know I'm struggling. What difference would it make if I said anything? Pay attention to those sentences. Because before you can change something, you have to recognize what is actually happening. So ask yourself why? What actually happened and what did I decide it meant about me? Maybe you didn't meet the goal. That happened. I'm a failure. Is the conclusion. Maybe you made a bad decision. That happened. I can't trust myself is the conclusion. Those are not the same thing. And once a conclusion becomes an identity, you start organizing your life around it. If I believe I'm a burden, I stop reaching out. If I believe I'm incapable, I stop trying. That is why these small sentences matter. And sometimes what you need to do next is simply tell somebody, I'm having a hard time. I need you. I don't know what to do. I need some help with this. if what you're carrying has become too heavy, that you're thinking about hurting yourself. That is bigger than this podcast. Tell somebody today. Someone who can be with you. Someone you trust. A professional. There are moments when asking for help is the action. Waiting isn't working cannot only be about productivity. Sometimes waiting is much quieter. Waiting to admit something, waiting to ask, waiting to say that what you're carrying is heavier than people realize. Waiting for someone else to notice. And people don't always notice. So I want to ask you, what have you been hoping someone else noticed without you having to say it? Maybe they haven't noticed. Maybe they don't know. And maybe waiting for them to figure it out is costing you more than telling them probably would. you can want more from your life without treating your current life as a failure. and I think that is what I want to leave with you. Not reassurance. Better questions. Enough for what? What actually happened. What did I decide it meant about me? Whose standard am I using? What am I caring that nobody knows about? What have I been hoping somebody will notice? And most importantly, What decision belong to me? Because this is where my part ends. There will always be something else I could say. But sometimes another sentence from me is not what you need. Maybe you need to make the appointment. Maybe you need to send the message. Maybe you need to say the thing out loud. Maybe you need to finally begin. I don't know which one belongs to you. By the time you hear this, I'll be somewhere on the road home. My daughter will begin a new chapter of her life. And I'll probably be wondering whether I said everything I needed to say before I left her there. Maybe there's no such thing. Maybe eventually you say what you can and then you trust the other person with the next step. I think that is where I am with you too. So I'm not going to end decision by telling you. You are enough. I want you to finish the question yourself. Enough for what? And whatever answer comes up, don't turn away from it too quickly. Look at what is actually true. Name it. then decide. what belongs to you next. Thank you for giving me your time this season. I mean that. I'll talk to you soon.