Enough for What?

Fabiola: There is this question lately I've been thinking about because it it reminded me that many people are still thinking about that. quietly. And I know I have. And I'm starting to realize that just how much power we have given it. Am I enough? Am I smart enough? Prepared. Enough successful enough have I done enough? And the strange thing, most of the time we never finish the question. Enough for what? Enough according to whom? Enough compared to what? We just feel it. and once that feeling shows up, we start making decisions around it. We wait, we hesitate, we make ourselves smaller. And sometimes we don't even call it not feeling enough. sometimes it is much more subtle than that. I'm Fabiola and this is waiting, isn't working. And we've made it to the final episode of this season. By the time you hear this, I'll probably be on the road coming back from dropping my daughter off to college. now that we are at this final episode of this season, I wonder what these conversations have looked like on your side. Because I can tell you that this conversation have changed me. They changed the way I think about waiting, the way I make decisions, even the way I listen to people. But then I think about you. Are you still waiting? Still procrastinating? is what you're carrying something I haven't even thought about to ask you? That became real to me this week. someone I love very much shared something with me that was deeply personal. I'm going to keep the details private because that part of the story is theirs. But the conversation stayed with me because it reminded me that people can be carrying things we cannot see. And sometimes What looks like waiting, fear, or even procrastination may be connected to something much deeper. But I don't know what waiting sounds like in your life. Maybe it isn't procrastination. Maybe it is pretending that you're fine. Maybe it is knowing that something is not okay and never saying anything about it. And that has made me think about what I didn't say this season. Could I have asked a better question? Could I have explained something differently? Was there something I missed? Not because I care about sounding good, because you matter to me. I want you to know that I do not take your time lightly. I don't know where you listen. What kind of week you are having. But I know there is a person on the other side of this microphone. And I understand that differently now. At the same time, something else has become clear. There are decisions that cannot make for you. I can ask the question. I can help you recognize something. I can challenge something you've been telling yourself, but I cannot make the call. I cannot make the decision that only you can make. That part belongs to you. So before I leave you for a little while, there is one question I want us to examine together. Am I enough? and I don't want to answer that in this podcast. I want you to finish that sentence enough for what? Because I'm not enough is a very big conclusion. And most of us arrive there without examining what happened first. We struggle and instead of saying this is hard, we say things like something must be wrong with me. We need help. And instead of saying this is more than I can carry, we say I should be able to handle this. That is where I want you to pay attention. Because the language can be subtle. It might sound like I should be further along by now. Why can't everybody else do this except me? I keep messing things up. I don't want anyone to know that I'm struggling. What difference would it make if I said anything? Pay attention to those sentences. Because Before you can change something, you have to recognize what is actually happening. So ask yourself this. What actually happened and what did I decide it meant about me? Maybe you did not meet the goal. That happened. I'm a failure is the conclusion. Maybe you need more support than usual. That is what is happening. And I'm a burden, is the conclusion. Those are not the same thing. And once the conclusion becomes an identity, you start organizing your life around it. If I believe I'm a burden, I stop reaching out. If I believe I'm incapable, I stop trying. And sometimes what you need to do next is simply tell someone else. And hear me. If what you're carrying has become so heavy that you are thinking about hurting yourself, that is bigger than this podcast. Tell someone today, someone who can be with you, someone you trust, a professional. I know that it may be stepping out of my lane here. The conversation that I told you I had earlier changed me, changed the way I communicate with people. And maybe that is part of what I understand differently now. Winning is at working cannot only be about productivity. Sometimes waiting is much quieter. Waiting to admit something, waiting to say that what you are carrying is heavier than people realize, waiting for someone to notice, and people don't always notice. so I want to ask you, what have you been hoping somebody would notice without you having to say it? And maybe waiting for them to figure it out is costing you a little more than telling them probably would. And I think that is what I want to leave with you. Not reassurance. Better questions. Enough for what? What actually happened? What did I decide it meant about me? What have I been hoping somebody will notice? And most importantly, what decision belongs to me? Because this is where my part ends. there will always be something else I could say. But sometimes another sentence from me is not what you need. Maybe you need to make the appointment. Maybe you need to send the message. Maybe you need to say the thing out loud. Maybe you need to stop pretending you're okay. Maybe you need to finally begin. I don't know which one belongs to you. By the time you hear this, I'll be somewhere on the road home. My daughter will begin a new chapter of her life. And I'd probably be wondering whether I said everything I needed to say before I left her there. Maybe there's no such thing. eventually you say what you can, then you trust the other person with the next step. I think that is where I am with you too. So I'm not going to end this season by telling you you are enough. I want you to finish the question yourself. Enough for what? And whatever answer comes up, don't turn away from it too quickly. Look at what is actually true. Name it. Then decide what belongs to you. Next. Thank you for giving me your time this season. I mean that. I'll talk to you soon.